Life really knows how to catch you off guard, and I learned that the hard way. My name’s Amber.

Until recently, I was living what I thought was the dream life with my husband Louis and our son Allen in a lovely home. We seemed so happy. Then, suddenly, everything changed.

“I think we rushed into things, Amber. I’m sorry, but I can’t do this anymore!” Louis announced one evening as he packed up. My heart just sank.

“Louis, please tell me you’re kidding. You can’t just leave us like that! What about Allen? He’s only two!” I pleaded, hoping he was joking.

“That’s exactly the problem, Amber!” he retorted. “I’m tired of all the responsibilities. I need time for myself. I’ve found someone who gets what I’m going through. Please, just let me go.”

That night, as he walked out, I just fell apart. How could the man I loved, who had never shown any signs of unhappiness, suddenly decide to abandon his family?

Once Louis was gone, reality hit me hard. I struggled to find a job while taking care of Allen alone.

Two weeks later, our landlady evicted us as I couldn’t pay the rent, and Social Services took Allen, thinking he’d be safer away from our unstable situation.

That night, I was homeless and heartbroken. My baby, my child, was taken away from me.

I sold everything I had, including my phone, and that kept me going for a while. Then, the money ran out.

One evening, out in the cold, I remembered my dad’s warnings about Louis. “He’s not right for you,” Dad had said. I wish I’d listened. Desperate to reconnect with him, I decided to buy a phone to call him.

I knew that if I borrowed a phone to call him, maybe he wouldn’t pick up the first time or even the second. But I’d have to keep trying. Or maybe no one would lend their phone to a homeless woman like me. I needed a phone of my own.

So I starved myself for a week to save enough to buy a second-hand phone. My tears didn’t stop when I dialed Dad’s number, and he answered.

“Hello? Who’s this?” he asked.

“It’s… Amber, Dad,” I sobbed into the phone.

“Amber, sweetheart! Is that you? Oh my goodness! How are things going?”

“I need your help, dad!”

“Is-Is everything okay, honey?”

“Just come as soon as possible, Dad!” I said.

He arrived quickly, and in a hotel room, I poured out my heart about the betrayal and my days on the streets. Dad comforted me, promising everything would be alright now.

The next day, Dad and I went to the orphanage to start the paperwork to bring Allen home. Once everything was finalized, Dad took Allen and me to New York.

He also hired a private detective to find out where Louis was. It turned out Louis had been cheating on me with his boss’s daughter, pretending to be single.

When his boss found out the truth — that Louis was married and had abandoned his family — he fired him. Louis ended up living on the streets. While I took no joy in his downfall, it felt like justice was done.

Back home, with my dad and Allen, I felt stronger. Life had knocked me down but taught me resilience. And with Dad’s support, I knew we could face anything ahead.

“Life can be tough, but so are you, Amber. Besides, I’ll always be here for you,” Dad reminded me as we watched Allen play one day.

I thanked him, overwhelmed with gratitude. “Thanks, Dad. For everything.”

As I tucked Allen into bed that night, I thought about our future. It wouldn’t be easy, but with love and support, we were ready for whatever came next. Life’s tough, but so are we. Now, it’s time to look forward to the new beginnings waiting for us.

When people are in love, they share a thing. A woman in love will not hesitate to share with you her feelings, her thoughts, and even her fears. The thing about love is that when the people we love hurt us, we feel it the most. Other people may hurt us buy it won’t be as bad as the one we receive from the one we love. When a woman in love gets emotionally hurt by her lover, and she speaks out, she has gotten over it within. You will know she is hurting when she ignores you and keeps entirely. Okay, not okay.

Ever asked a woman who is not okay if she is okay, and she says she is? Then she proceeds to ignore you and gives you the silent treatment. At that point, she is not being a difficult person; neither is she trying to be coy and petty. That is just her own way of communicating her hurt to you. She might not say it out loud and might continue to act normal, but she will be hurting.

When you sense that she might be hurting, reach out to her. Sometimes asking her if she is okay might piss her off, especially if she thinks you should know she is hurting and why. Do not try to fix the problem by psychoanalyzing her. Even if you are sure that you are not the reason she is hurting, avoid the fix-it approach.

Her silence speaks volumes
There are women who speak when they are hurting, and if you have such a woman, then be grateful. Naturally, a woman will recoil into herself when she’s hurt, especially when she’s hurt by the one she loves. She does this because normally she expects you to be the one she would turn to when someone else has hurt her. Instead, you are the one responsible for her hurting.

She would rather stay silent and ignore you. Her ignoring you is her way of trying to deal with it on her own and, at the same time, letting you know that she is not happy with you. Silence is the loudest communication most women will have with you. That is their number one signal when you have hurt them. When your normally conversational wife begins to ignore you, she is sending you a message. Please do not be too oblivious to her silent communication.

You should know her well enough to know when her silence is as a result of her needing some quiet time and when it is as a result of her ignoring you. Let your focus at that time be on trying to make her feel better. There should be no room for ego in a healthy relationship, so apologize and make amends. Acknowledge the fact that she is hurting, and if it is your fault, apologize but if the hurt is as a result of something else, ask her how you can help her feel better.

It is never easy to cope with losing someone very dear to you, no matter the litany of condolences and motivational quotes people give you. It will hurt and probably do so for a long time. That kind of pain is most felt when you want to have a conversation with them, but you discover yet again that they are and never will be around. Inasmuch as they cannot be replaced, there are surefire ways you can cope with the loss, all of which can help you actually remember them in happiness rather than all sadness.

Don’t Rush
There is no one timestamp on how long it should take for you to get over losing someone to the icy hands of death. Everyone grieves differently as you have every right to take as much time as you need. Well, it might take longer than some people are imagining, but your grief’s duration does not have to fall in the line of anyone’s predictions. If you think you are having it toward the wrong direction, then you might want to ask for help. Nevertheless, spending a whole month curled up in your bed and crying is valid only if it is what you need.

Don’t Resort To Substances
Most people think that drenching your senses in alcohol, filling up your insides with smoke and lacing your bloodstream with hard drugs helps. It does not make it feel better, neither does it change the fact that the person is never coming back from the dead. Resorting to substances is never the answer, and it can even do more harm than good. They male you temporarily numb to the pain, but spending time masking these feelings is only pushing the healing process back behind a blakc door. Talk to someone instead.

Why Not Honor The Dead?
You had some of the best times with this person, so much that you never imagined that these good things would one day come to an end. To show that you hold these memories in high esteem, why not actually honor that person you are bereaved of? It is understandable that you wish they were here, but it is more important to send them a message that their time here meant so much to you. Honoring the demise of a loved one can actually help you feel better, as you would know that they are somehow listening.

Do Something New
If there;s anything all the dead people want for the loved ones they left behind, it is that they should have a better and more satisfactory life. Rather than sitting in your bed all day with your Turkish Angora, visit a place you have never been before. You can book a trip to a new city. Isolate yourself if you have to, but note that it should not be a permanent thing. Do the things you love, connect with people, have fun and carry on their legacy. These will help only if you willingly try.

Dance as though no one is watching you, sing as though no one can hear you.

Love like you’ve never been hurt before and live as though heaven is on earth.

Be happy no matter what you have been through, after night comes sunshine, and always bear in mind that the world gets brighter each time you smile.

Give life another chance, let the past be in the past, let love lead.

I never believed I could be in a situation where I could advise someone to let go of the past and give life another chance.

My last marriage left me with a PSTD and no matter how I tried to convince myself I was getting better I knew I was breaking the remaining pieces of my life into fragments.

The friend I trusted so much broke into my home and took the man I so much loved.

My instincts were never wrong, I saw it coming and wanted to solve everything when it was still early, but the love of my life called me crazy for thinking he’s ever going to cheat on me.

He divorced me a few months later and I felt I still had a chance, but not until I saw his child dedication invitation at my doorstep, worse still he has a child with my best friend.

I gave up on love and shut myself out from the world, but today my life has taken another shape as I decided to give life a chance, there’s still some good left.

When looking at my mum’s younger pictures I can but imagine how life moves so fast and how far we have gone.

Each picture reminds me of the memories we have together; when she could still walk with her both legs and those moments she was always playing with my kids; I never failed to capture those moments.

Life moves so fast before our eyes and hence we should make every moment count with our loved ones.

While having my first and seconds kids you were holding my hands and telling me to be strong that you will always be with me.

You helped me have an easy birth, but the last two that came, you were sitting on the wheelchair giving me your words of encouragement, at that moment I knew mama has gotten older.

Your life is something worthy of emulation as you lived an exemplary life for me and my siblings.

Even at old age, you never stopped looking after us or making sure our various families were doing fine.

Your physical features got old, but your head and heart never aged for a bit.

You still single-handedly handle the family’s company asking us to spend time with our family, that you will take care of everything.

You always told me that you want us to be very comfortable after your departure, but I don’t want to even think about t.

You have become part of my life and I don’t know what life could be without you; I want to be with you forever, mama.